Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
