i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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