today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
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The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
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She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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