everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
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Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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