Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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