thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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