I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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