Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i don't plan on having that self control this summer

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(607): View more from New York

I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie

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(317): View more from Indiana

i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.

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(816): View more from Missouri

So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeeah thank god

(816): View more from Missouri

Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.

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(850): View more from Florida

My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.

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(518): View more from New York

Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.

(1-518): View more from New York

Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.

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