I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
