none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
