Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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