I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
