its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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