Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
