Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i think i have two assholes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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