dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
