I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
