make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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