he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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