She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize