the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
