wake up i wanna do it froggy style
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize