On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
