Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
