he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
