Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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