So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
