I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize