just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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