arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
