Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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