you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize