Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
