I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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