I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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