We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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