I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
