Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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