also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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