wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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