At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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