Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
