he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dicks are not precious.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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