this just has baby written all over it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
