she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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