just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
