I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize