What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
