I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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