we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
