I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
