so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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