Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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