idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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