Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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